Nestled among glittering skyscrapers, Kuwaiti citizens enjoy the good fortune of living a life of luxury- shopping at designer malls, dining at the finest restaurants, travelling the world on a whim. But living the first class lifestyle has some societal side effects- the price tag that is placed on marriage. These days, the parents of a lovely bride-to-be often demand a six-figure dowry for their daughter’s hand in matrimony.

According to an article from the Muslim Observer, many Kuwaiti men are choosing to marry non-Kuwaiti women in order to save a literal fortune. The result of rising dowry prices has resulted in a rising number of unmarried Kuwaiti women.

Anti-Spinster Action

It can’t be denied that the government of Kuwait looks after its people, from the cradle to the grave. Health and education are free, and each child receives $275 every month until they are 18.

On top of these standard benefits, Kuwait’s Emir has just given a gift of $3600 and 14 months of free food to all citizens in honour of the 50^th and 20^th anniversaries of Kuwaiti independence and liberation from Iraqi aggression, both in February. A fine cause for celebration!

A government like this won’t stand by to watch its female population pass into spinsterhood, so they’ve come up with a new proposal to encourage Kuwaitis to marry other Kuwaitis instead of foreigners.

The proposed marriage grant aims to double the amount of money a Kuwaiti man receives upon marriage if the bride is also a compatriot, bringing the total grant to over $27,000. Another proposal would grant money for men taking a second wife who is divorced, widowed or over 40 and never married. And this is in additional to the new house that is also given as a wedding gift!

Money Isn’t Everything

The marriage grant is certainly well intentioned, but love and money can be a tricky combination. Getting married is only the beginning, the real challenge lies in the years to come after the wedding. Having enough money sure takes some of the stress off, but Kuwait still has a divorce rate that has surpassed 50%. Maybe the next grant will fund marriage counseling!

There are few things that cannot be accomplished by Internet these days. In an every more virtual reality, we can order dinner, buy a house, even meet the man/woman of our dreams at the click of a mouse.

The only condition, or so it would seem – is that there is no way back when “send” has been pressed. In the good old days, we had time to change our minds, but thanks to the World Wide Web, decisions, be they right or wrong, are made in a moment.

Nobody can be more aware of this than the Qatari gentleman who ended his marriage in a Skype conversation. Claiming to be a little green on Islam’s inner workings, the man jokingly typed talak, talak, talak (I divorce thee, I divorce thee, I divorce thee) in the window of an online chat and before he could say “w8t a min” the digital deed was done.

No Way Out

“We love each other very much and want to be together but right now [we are] caught in this thing. Want to know a way out,” said the Qatari man, who has not been named, according to an article in The Telegraph.

An online fatwa by the Darul Uloom Deobandi seminary in northern India,  – one of Islam’s leading authorities on religious law has ruled that if the couple want to remarry, the woman will have to marry another man before she can remarry her first husband.

Tough Love

“When you gave three talaqs, your wife became “haram” (forbidden) for you. Neither you have the right to take her back nor solemnise a new “nikah” (marriage) without a valid “halalah” (second marriage). After the completion of “iddah” (a three month waiting period following a divorce), the woman can marry whomever she wishes except you,” the fatwa stated.

The couple will have to wait at least six months to remarry and bear the strain of the wife remarrying, having sex with another man, and divorcing again.

“…the provision for Talaq in Islam is for unavoidable circumstances not for teasing or jokes,” Maulana Arshid Madani, President of Jamiat-Ulama-i-Hind told The Telegraph.

Moral of the story? – take care when typing!

I Want to get Married. The title of this Middle-Eastern TV comedy show leaves little to the imagination… Still, when we’re talking about today’s Egyptians ruminating on what they’re looking for in a marriage partner – and season the revelations and responses with humour – intrigue enters the equation.

I Want To Get Married/ Photo by Associated Press

The show has proven a hit with Egyptian audiences and pulls few punches when getting to the heart of the marriage matter – honing in on how women want to play an active role in the process of finding a partner.

Author Ghada Abdel-Aal, whose blog and book by the same name inspired the show, based much of the plot on her own experiences.

“Many women came up to me after I wrote the book to say they saw themselves in the main character…” Abdel-Aal told The Washington Post.

Truth in Jest

I Want to Get Married’s humour lies in the deft portrayal of an oh-so-familiar ritual where Egyptian suitors file through family salons checking out potential brides, expecting (naturally) to appeal to all of them.

But that’s not quite how it works.

Egyptian women, like many of their counterparts across the Arab world are pushing for the right to choose, and to be picky. After all, marriage isn’t a decision that can made at the toss of a coin – or is it?

Tough Times for Matrimonial Bliss

Interestingly enough Want to Get Married was aired during Ramadan at a time of economic woes deemed doomed for marriage by the Egyptian media.

Marriage is an expensive undertaking for Egyptian grooms – what with the dowry, housing and all that jazz that comes with getting hitched. Not surprisingly marriages are getting delayed. This can put Egyptian women in their 30’s in a precarious position. Life isn’t always a bunch of roses for those who feel sidestepped by grooms seeking younger brides.

Whilst critiquing the conundrums of modern marriage, I Want To Get Married offered a fascinating insight into how Egypt, and the world is changing, through the eyes of those looking for each other.

“Love is one thing, knowledge is another...” – Egyptian Proverb

Bahraini store-owner Khadija Ahmed is one brave and ambitious lady. She has set up and runs the region’s first love store, aiming to spice up married couples’ love lives. Khadija aims to save marriages and curb infidelity by putting the fizz back into Bahraini couples’ marriages.

“I established the store to help married couples, because the issue most Bahraini couples suffer from is the lack of interest in their intimate relationship. She told the Gulf Daily News.

“Infidelity is one of the main reasons couples get divorced and my store helps tackle that, because once the intimate relations of a couple become better, then they will work harder on their relationship.

The store owner offers what she describes as a form of marriage counseling to add: New and exciting passion breaks the daily routine of married life.”

Sex and Sensitivity

Khadija holds the necessary paperwork from the Bahraini Dept of Commerce but has had to fight to keep her store open. In May 2010, she appeared before the Bahraini Lower Criminal Court, accused of insulting a Customs officer in an argument while trying to import some of her products, which include sex aids and games.

The case has been adjourned till September 15, and Ms Ahmed, who denies the charge, told GDN it has already cost her a night in a police cell and lost income on products blocked by customs. Officials say some of the products Ms Ahmed is trying to import are unauthorized, while she claims some are already on sale in pharmacies and other stores.

Khadija, who has the support of her family, maintains she is doing nothing wrong, as her customers are married.  Her store, which is located in the heart of Jidali, on one of Bahrain’s busiest roads already, has a broad customer base.

“The products I sell don’t go against Islam. There is nothing that prohibits married couples from enjoying their sex lives, or preventing them from having a happy marriage. ” Said Ms Ahmed.

A Bold Move

Nevertheless, she has had numerous confrontations with Bahrain Customs, who have confiscated some of her products.

“Some of the reasons I received were that my business caused an uproar among religious leaders and some people were scared their children would get hold of my products… Bahrainis should be proud that they have a woman like me who is bold enough to create a business that serves married couples and they shouldn’t stand against me.”

Sex Shop Halal

Ms Ahmed appeared on a regional television programme, Sex Shop Halal, which discussed whether the Arab world is ready for such a store. She reiterated the need and demand for her business among married Bahraini customers.

“I have a large customer base and I have received many emails and phone calls from people thanking me for saving their marriage.” Our society needs to come to terms with the fact that this actually helps married couples.”

I found an intriguing and thought provoking article in Arab Times I’d love to get your opinions on:

Apparently, a Pakistani pupil has been expelled from his private school in Peshwar for secretly marrying his 16-year-old cousin. The reason? Teachers at the school believe that marital relations shouldn’t be discussed in the playground.

Age of Consent

The groom in question Ghairat Khan sports a beard and attends 7^th grade at the English-language Peshawar Model School. His peers are 12 and 13 year old boys, yet Ghairat insists he is in fact, 18. According to the Arab Times, it’s not unheard of for students to fall back a few years in some areas of Pakistan.

Khan insists he married his cousin because his father died and his mother was ill. Pakistani civil law permits boys to marry at 18 and girls at 16, but under Islamic law, younger unions with parental consent.

“After my father passed away, my uncle became the guardian of our family and he gave me the hand of his daughter and my cousin in marriage as my mother also wanted to see me get married in her lifetime,” he told AFP.

Permission Denied

Khan’s family hails from the tribal district of Mohmand, which lies outside direct government control, but he now lives in the northwestern city of Peshawar.  He claims he asked his school for permission to take time off for “a cousin’s” wedding” (which was true… although the explanation was somewhat sparse in providing relevant information).

When teachers discovered that Ghairat was, in fact the groom at the wedding, they promptly expelled him – issuing a certificate that states the school expressly forbids married students.

Every Action has a Reaction

In protest against what he perceives to be unfair expulsion, Ghairat Khan took the school to court in Peshawar, where a judge summoned the school’s principal and director on June 9th.

“There is no law in Pakistan under which a school can expel students for marrying. Under Islamic law, minors can marry with consent of their parents,” Khan’s lawyer Isa Khan told AFP.

What do you think, dear readers? Should Ghairat Khan be expelled for marrying his cousin and thinly veiling his true intentions or should he simply be seen as a son who wanted to grant his ill mother her wish to see him wed?

Progress comes in many ways, shapes and forms… As you may have heard, Saudi Arabia has taken the bold step of issuing new marriage contracts state the bride-to-be’s age. The aim is to curb underage marriage.

Saudi women are now subject to new measures/ Photo courtesy of The Guardian

I read an interesting article on the subject at BBC Online. It talks about Saudi Arabia’s new promise, which has been catalysed  following a number of high-profile cases.

Clear Cut Rules

The BBC reports on how Human Rights groups have applauded the new Saudi legislation, as a way to help protect underage girls. The new measures are groundbreaking and the first steps to outlawing child marriage in the kingdom. National Society for Human Rights chairman Mufleh Al-Qahtani embraces the new decision:

“The marriage of underage girls has been in the limelight for the past three years. A number of lawsuits have also been filed to stop fathers marrying off their underage girls to older men.” He said.

Changing Time and Tide

Saudi Arabia practices strict Sunni Islam, forbidding free contact between the genders and giving fathers the right to choose whom their sons and daughters marry.

Now it seems, that the first moves towards significant change are being made, as one Saudi government official told Saudi-based Arab News newspaper:

“There is a serious drive by the [justice] ministry to determine an age for girls to marry following the recent reporting of older men marrying young girls,” the official said.

Family Matters

Defenders of child marriage say the practice forms part of Saudi culture, and the Guardian raises the crucial matter of dowries in the decision making process.

It cites a case from February this year in which a 12-year-old girl decided to stay married to an 80-year-old man, after initially filing for divorce. Her father had received a $22,600 (£14,174) dowry just months before.

Good on the Saudi Government for taking the steps to make such marriages a thing of the past.

“Now I am 100% Libyan” – this might not be the typical phrase you’d expect from a blond-haired blue-eyed Swedish woman. But Elisabeth Elhazza’s whirlwind marriage to her Libyan sweetheart Khairi (who’s seven years her junior) has been, if nothing else, the epitome of an altogether unusual love story.

Our wise friends at Muslimah Media Watch published an interesting and candid piece discussing an article on Elisabeth that originally appeared in Swedish woman’s mag “Tara”. MMW reveals how the article offers quite an exotic and perhaps misleading portrait of inter-faith marriage. It describes Elisabeth’s marriage, which took place “secretly in a mosque”. It also exudes the exoticism and enigma of her acceptance of Khairi’s marriage proposal, stepping into what was, for her, “an unfamiliar and strange culture.”

Aladdin and Jasmine?

Khairi and Elisabeth had a fairytale wedding to kick start their new life in Libya: his family provided her with traditional clothes, gold bracelets, harem pants, and henna – the whole nine yards. Elisabeth seems to have taken all in her stride, embracing Libyan culture wholeheartedly.Life’s too short to wait and hesitate!” She told Tara.

“I married Khairi, and that I got this culture into the bargain is incredibly exciting.” What a bargain! How fun!”

Elizabeth describes how wearing traditional clothes made her feel “like family,” talks about the summer home the couple are building in Libya, and their intention to name their son Jacob, which works in both Arabic and Swedish.

The article culminates in the politically correct advice to live in the moment and realize “we are all people,” followed by some travel notes about Libya.

Rose Tinted Glasses?

Despite affirming that Elisabeth has found love and Islam, the end of the article reveals that she hasn’t actually converted to the faith: the secret marriage at the mosque was arranged to avoid any criticism given that Elisabeth’s friends and family weren’t exactly ecstatic about the match.

As MMW points out, international media coverage of interfaith marriage often focuses on the challenges and conflicts. In this case, Tara highlights the fairytale element of this particular Swedish-Libyan intermarriage.

It’s interesting to contrast perspectives, as the truth is so often somewhere in-between…

Have you had an inter-faith marriage? Got any tips or a story to share? Do let us know!

Oprah Winfrey: Icon, idol and household heroine for girls around the globe… America’s best loved talk-show dame recently interviewed Egyptian women about marriage, as part of a series on women in different parts of the world.

The female guests on this edition of the popular talk show were as follows: Ms. Injy Elkashef, a 37-year-old journalist who wears the hijab; Ms. Heba Shunbo, a 33-year-old interior designer who doesn’t wear the hijab; environmental economist Dr. Hala Abou-Ali; and Dr. Heba Kotb.

What did they all have in common: these ladies are all Egyptian and have been married. What’s more with the exception of Dr. Kotb, the other three Egyptian ladies are divorced. The show was narrated and moderated by Danish Muslim, Nanna Norup.

From the hijab to equality, marriage and sex

The first part of the show focused on Egyptian women’s perceptions of the hijab, but by the second, discussion had diverted to marriage gender (in)equality regarding divorce and premarital sex.

Tensions simmered and Dr Kotb in particular seemed to feel that Egyptian women’s views on dress, marriage, divorce and sex were misrepresented thanks to inappropriate editing when the show went on air.

A particularly contentious point for the Doctor was the issue of divorce and money paid in settlements.

The Morning After the Night Before

As our good friends at Muslimah Media Watch revealed, the day after the show aired in Egypt, Dr. Kotb appeared in the press, attacking the other guests and citing Oprah’s intentions to make Islam “look bad.”  The Doctor insisted that “Oprah wanted to tarnish the image of Egyptian women from the start.”

Interestingly, Inky Elkashef, who also  appeared as a guest on the show saw the conversation on Oprah as fascinating, as she commented:

“The world now has a clearer perception of today’s Egypt. My wish is that my fellow countrymen, briefly in the global spotlight by proxy in every home around the world that watches the Oprah Winfrey Show, would seize this opportunity to take an objective glimpse at themselves through the answers provided on the show — whether they agreed with them or not — by attempting to answer them themselves.”

Whether you loved or loathed the episode, it seems to have shed remarkable light on sensitive issues on marriage and divorce faced not just by Egyptian women but also by many of us around the world.

Check out the show on Youtube here

The forthcoming wedding of Pakistani cricketer Shoaib Malik, to Indian tennis star Sania Mirzai, has captivated hearts across India and Pakistan. The marriage, which promises to be an extravagant affair, is due to take place on April 15th.

There’s just one small snag: Police have seized the Pakistani cricketer’s passport, over allegations that he’s already married.

Love all? That’s Batty…

The family of Ayesha Siddiqui from Hyderabad have informed police that Shoaib married her in 2002, prompting a preliminary police investigation. Malik, on the other hand claims to have been tricked, and insists the marriage certificate presented by Ayesha’s family was a fake.

In a BBC article on the subject, Sanjoy Majumder reports from Delhi:

“…The latest developments have cast a shadow over an unusual cross-border romance that has captivated the people of India and Pakistan.”

Online Romance or Virtual Friends?

Police spent over two hours questioning Malik at Sania’s home over charges filed against him by Hyderabad’s Ayesha, who is adamant that’s she’s already married to the Pakistani cricketer. Malik has been ordered to remain in India for the duration of the police investigation.

Following the questioning, the Pakistani-Indian sporting lovebirds held an open-air news conference, in which Malik said he was ready to co-operate with the Indian authorities.

“I am here to clear my name, and for that I am not leaving the country,” he told journalists.

Sania is standing by him and supports the investigation:

“I know, we know what the truth is and it will come out and we believe in justice,” the BBC article quotes her as saying.

The Bigger Picture

Malik has admitted to the press that he had a friendship over the Internet with Ayesha eight years ago and then married her over the telephone after they exchanged photographs.

Trouble was, according to him, the photos were of someone else and he now maintains he has never met the girl in the photos Ayesha sent him.

The BBC correspondent confirms that it is still not clear if his marriage is legally valid under Islamic law.

Sania Mirza, 23, and Shoaib Malik, 28, announced their wedding last week and plan to celebrate their marriage in both India in Pakistan before moving to Dubai.

News articles on April 7th show Shoaib speedily processing his divorce from Ayesha. Fingers and toes crossed he and Sania make it to cutting the cake!

Ladies: Getting married in Dubai? Got a wedding to go to and need some inspiration for your outfit, or just like getting into the wedding spirit? For all those in the mood for love, the Dubai Bride Show 2010 kicks off next month at the Dubai International Exhibition Centre, from April 4^th-10^th.

In the Business of Marriage

The Dubai Bride Show is the largest wedding and fashion event held anywhere in the Middle East, and this year’s event expects to entice some 50,000 visitors and over 300 exhibitors from every layer of the wedding industry. The Dubai show is the big sister of the Abu Dhabi Bride Show, which took place in February and showed record attendance.

The show has been running for over a decade, welcoming visitors to feast their eyes on top of the line weddings dresses, eveningwear, abayas & sheilas, fashion accessories, beauty products, jewellery, photography, flowers, honeymoon destinations, venues, cakes and all conceivable accoutrements associated with the art of marriage. Basically, this is Wonderland for brides to be and their entourage, who’ll get to see, touch, taste and try before they buy.

Showcasing the Best of Bridal Couture

The Bride Show Dubai hosts a dazzling array of catwalk shows, featuring, in the words of the organizers: “fabulous wedding dresses, inspiring and creative abayas and exquisite evening wear.” Italy’s top bridal couture designers will be unwrapping their newest collections sending their latest creations spinning down the runways. This year’s catwalk shows feature Julea Domani by Zeena Zaki, Scalini Haute Couture, Demetrios, Sposa by Shiva Taba and Meena Rose.

Beauty professionals from all over the globe will unite to give advice to glowing brides on the latest trends for make-up and hair. Women’s World Live will also be laying on healthcare and wellbeing providers and fun fitness classes at this year’s event.

The Marriage Made in Heaven Starts Here

Visitors to the show will be invited to enter prize draws to win a holiday to Seoul courtesy of Visit Korea, including flights and five-star accommodation, and a bride-to-be package from Silkor Laser Center.

The Dubai Bride Show 2010 runs from Wednesday 7 April to Saturday 10 April, and is open from 2:30pm until 10:30pm.