How do you find a mate when you don’t date? This intriguing question opens Muslims in Love, a short film by students at the USC School of Cinematic Arts, which tackles how devout faith and finding true love fit together for today’s young American Muslims. In director Zerina Usmen’s own words, this 26 minute 5-character film is inspired by a theme “…that calls for 1.2 billion stories.”

Set against a backdrop of secular America, where young people date, cohabit and flit between relationships freely.  The five characters in Muslims in Love must contend with societal norms on top of the complex issues at the heart of finding a partner within the framework of practicing Islam.

Made in America

Mohammad and Ferdaus meet and marry according the traditional Muslim codes of courting conduct, with the aid of friends, family and…. technology. Michelle, who is a convert to Islam finds her choices somewhat limited when trying to find a Muslim husband. Jameelah, an African-American Muslim is confronted with racial issues and double standards, and Zahra believes that faith and fate will bring Mr. Right to her front door.

Watching the trailer for Muslims in Love, and casting an eye over the website I was struck by some of the challenges the young filmmakers faced in their desire to convey Muslim culture from behind the scenes. Researching and compiling this poignant and important journey into the hearts and minds of young Muslim Americans trying to find their places and partners was no small feat.

A Small Step for Man, A Giant Leap for Muslim Filmmakers

Finding young, men and women that were prepared to reveal their intimate hopes; fears and feelings can’t have been easy. That’s before even attempting to access Muslim parents who were prepare to spill the beans on the trials and tribulations of wanting the best for a son or daughter, and their reputations in a general society that doesn’t (appear to) favor old-school values.

And to top it all, the film was shot during Ramadan!

Muslims in Love hasn’t had a public screening as such – any of you reading this who might like to organize a screening can contact th filmmakers via the film’s website. The reactions it has received from internal screenings have been highly positive. In the words of the director:

“Muslims love it, because it’s so rare to see people on screen that accurately represent their experiences. The characters are finally Muslims they can become invested in and root for. Non-Muslims appreciate the range of voices within the Muslim community on the issue of love, and are always taken aback by the incredibly vocal and articulate Muslim women characters.”

In The End Are There Only More Questions?

She hopes the film will help members of the Muslim community speak more openly and overcome off some ingrained taboos about voicing concerns on love and marriage.

“We can’t do justice to our faith if, for example, racism dominates marriage decisions and if we don’t want to admit how challenging it is to practice Islam in our lifestyles for fear of being labeled a bad Muslim. It would be great to find that the film helps Muslims to be honest, and to be OK with being honest.” She says.

Can faith and modernity go together like a happy couple in today’s world? It’s a big question, and a great comfort to know so many of us are asking it, and a few courageous young filmmakers are attempting to answer it.

Hello lovely lovers – guess what Cupid’s got marked in the calendar next month? Around this time last year, I blogged about Saudi Arabia’s stance on Valentine’s Day today.

Perusing the news online today, I discovered via Time Magazine, that Iran also put the kybosh on the day of hearts, flowers and alter-day symbols of affection exchanged each February 14th in alignment with Western custom.

What’s in a Day?

I’ve always been of the school of thought that every day should be lovers’ day, rather than designating a single date on which to profess love or romantic intention, but then again the postman’s never exactly incurred backache trying to deliver cards and gifts to my door on this particular day.

But nor have I ever lived in a country, like Iran, where the day has been officially banned. This January, Iran’s state run media has announced that production of Valentine’s gifts or promotion of romance between men and women is prohibited.

Love and the Law

While romance may be off the menu for singles, love is not against Iranian law, and the Christian holiday of Valentine’s Day isn’t technically illegal. However, under Islamic law, unwed couples are not allowed to mingle and therein lies the crux of the problem.

Reuters reports that Valentine’s Day has become increasingly a la mode among Iran’s young population, which actually constitutes a hefty demographic. Around 70% of Iranians are under 30.

Instructions for Love

The guidelines issued by the media warn that legal action could be taken against those found to violate the new ruling, which reads:

“Printing and producing any products related to Valentine’s Day, including posters, brochures, advertising cards, boxes with the symbols of hearts, half-hearts, red roses and any activities promoting this day are banned,”

Any Iranian readers out there fancy sharing their opinions on this matter. Do you think Valentine’s Day should  be embraced or kissed goodbye?

Two of the most frequent questions I’m asked by my non-Muslim friends are: 1) What’s the difference between a Shi’a and Sunni Muslim (like me) and 2) What happens if a Sunni and a Shi’a fall in love?  Neither question has a particularly straightforward answer.

I read a moving story about Sunni-Shi’a love in Newsweek a couple of years back. It was the tale of two Iraqi teachers, one Sunni and one Shi’a who met in 2000 when they were both studying at the University of Baghdad.

A Cautious Courtship

Sunni guy Mahir Murad, 26 and Shi’a girl, Hind al Yasseri fell deeply in love, but had to hide their three-year courtship from their friends and family.

The couple only argued once during that time, disagreeing on wodhu, the ritual cleansing before prayer, which their sects perform differently. The issue under debate revolves around washing vs. wiping the soles of the feet prior to prayer. It escalated into an ardent row, but dissolved into laughter.

“We agreed that we should never discuss such minor differences. We both are Muslims who believe in the same Qur’an and the same Prophet.” Mahir told Newsweek.

Serious Concerns

The lovebirds married in 2003, and enjoyed their honeymoon as Iraq began its. Sadly, sectarian violence took hold in 2006, with the destruction of the Shi’ite Askariya Mosque in Samarra, which was followed by the retaliatory destruction of Sunni mosques.

“We had no other choice but to protect ourselves,” says Mahir.

Both husband and wife felt that extremists and not regular members of either community were to blame for the violence, and while thier love endured the tension between their sects, it clearly troubled them.

“I could say that maybe if I met my wife now, I would not marry her,” Murad said, weeks after the conflicts started in 2006.

While Mahir and Hind’s story is extreme, it inspires me as it reveals the power of love and the unifying bond between all members of our faith. Many of my Shi’ite friends and I feel this way, and hope that there can be peace, love and respect between all the branches of Islam.

The Indian parliament’s decision to ban sex education has left young Indians with a conundrum: Where do they go to get advice on love, dating and sex?

According to an interesting article in The Guardian, they open the daily supplement of the Times of India, the country’s best-known English-language newspaper and make a beeline for the daily “Ask the Sexpert” column.

Ask Away…

The column features quintessential questions on sex, sexuality, matters of the heart and dating.

The Times of India’s resident sexpert is 85-year-old gynecologist and sex counselor, Dr Mahinder Watsa. The mature doctor accepts and makes it his mission to answer the concerns of India’s youth of today.

It’s fair to say that Dr. Watsa is far from shy in answering the queries and quandaries of India’s young people. His advice is upbeat and candid, and he regularly labels men “old-fashioned” for not wishing to date women or insisting that they are virgins when they marry. The doctor also counsels on learning the art of lovemaking. His buck stops at homosexuality, but any other topic concerning love, dating and sex is open to discussion in his column.

A Sharp Contrast

As the Guardian points out, The Sexpert represents the polar opposite of sugarcoated lovey-dovey Bollywood cinema and the hush hushing of such topics in many layers of Indian society.

Love or loath this newspaper column, there’s no denying that it answers questions that remain shrouded in myth within many Indian schools where sex education is glossed over or downright dismissed.  The Sexpert may be a little brash by some standards, but at the other end of the spectrum, the Indian educational system offers students little tuition on human anatomy.

A recent parliamentary ruling rejected the introduction of proper sex education in schools claiming sex education has no place in India’s “social and cultural ethos”. The committee behind the legislation insists that Indian school children should simply be taught that “sex before marriage … is immoral, unethical and unhealthy”.

According to The Guardian, some observers believe that committee members fear sex education will lead to “people having sex on every corner”.

What do you think? We’d love to hear your opinion.

I’ve been following the story of the British couple jailed for kissing in Dubai with mixed feelings.

Following their arrest in November last year, lovebirds Ayman Najafi, 24, and Charlotte Adams, 25, were tried and convicted of breaking Dubai’s decency laws. They were sentenced to a month in prison with subsequent deportation and fined 1,000 dirhams (£200) for drinking alcohol.

Their first appeal against their conviction has been unsuccessful and now Najafi is adamant that the young lovers will make a second attempt to clear their names.

Love in the Open

A local woman whose two-year-old daughter saw them kiss on the mouth in a restaurant made the initial complaint against the couple. She accused them of breaking the country’s decency laws by kissing on the mouth at Dubai’s Jumeirah Beach Residence restaurant.

The initial complaint against them was made by a 38-year-old woman who said she was offended by their behaviour at the, where she was dining with her daughter.

When in Dubai…

There’s an interesting take on this case, which has been deemed harsh and unfair by much of the international media, by BBC News correspondent Magdi Abdelhadi.

Magdi raises the valid point that while Dubai may look very Western with its “gleaming apartment blocks and super modern shopping malls.” But goes on to remark that “The Western façade can, however, lull the unsuspecting visitor into believing that it is also a liberal society.”

The correspondent points out that it is often traveling Westerners and expats that come unstuck by not adhering to Dubai’s social codes of conduct when it comes to drinking alcohol and public displays of affection.

“While an unmarried Western couple can share a room in a hotel – or even live together – they are expected to observe local custom when outside their home.” – Magdi affirms.

Cultural Conundrums

One of the defendants in this particular case, Najafi, is of Muslim origin, which adds another twist to the tale. The judge dismissed the appeal outright, saying he upheld the previous sentence. The young lovers have decided not to start their sentence immediately, but Dubai authorities are holding their passports so they can’t return to the UK.

The British Foreign Office advises Britons going to be wary of breaching local customs. A statement on its travel advice website reads: “Britons can find themselves facing charges relating to cultural differences, such as using bad language, rude gestures or public displays of affection.”

There have been several reported cases of foreigners breaking Dubai’s strict decency laws over the past couple of years:

In March, an Indian couple were sentenced to three months in jail in Dubai after sending each other sexually explicit text messages.

In 2008, two Britons accused of having sex on a beach in Dubai were sentenced to three months in jail, though the sentences were later suspended.

I love old movies – especially love stories from the 40s and 50s that give you a glimpse into a world that no longer exists. It’s the details… the formality and elegance, the hats, gloves and letters and the lack of modern props – like cell phones and computers.

I watched Joseph Pevney’s classic Istanbul again this weekend. You seen it? Errol Flynn, Cornell Borchers and Nat King Cole. It’s a delicious flick. A remake of a 1937 film called Singapore, set around the Turkish capital, diamond smuggling and a stormy love affair.

Diamonds are Forever?

For those of you who haven’t seen Istanbul, in a nutshell, the story goes like this: An adventurer. James Brennan (played by Errol Flynn) returns to Istanbul after being thrown out five years earlier under suspicion of smuggling diamonds. His imagination rewinds to his last days there before deportation, and his wild love affair with siren Stephanie Bauer (Cornell Borchers).

He also recalls the collection of ill-reputed characters to steal a bracelet he has bought for his sweetheart Stephanie, a trinket that has a hidden compartment filled with…. yep you’ve guessed it. Diamonds. He gives Stephanie the bracelet as a marriage proposal (after stashing the diamonds in his ceiling fan) but surprise, surprise, he isn’t the only one who knows of their existence. Stephanie’s hotel room is set on fire lo and behold; a gesture of love and commitment opens the floodgates to a saga of secrets, lies and murder.  Not surprisingly James skips town to avoid the heat. (End of flashback).

Selective Memory

Fast forward and Brennan is back in Istanbul, and Stephanie has suffered amnesia from the fire, changed her name to Karen Fielding and married a wealthy Englishman.

It James’ luck isn’t down and out enough in matters of the heart, two burning questions remain: Where are the diamonds and who else is also trying to get their hands on them?

Will Stephanie/Karen remember who he is and how much she loved him before, or will he be forced to leave Istanbul without rekindling that love -  before the bad guys (or the authorities) get to him?

Istanbul is everything a classic love story should be: tumultuous, fiery, gripping, filled with suspense and utterly romantic. It also offers a gorgeous portrait of a stunning city in another time.

You know, they say that if you’re a writer, provoking a reaction from your critics, be it good or bad, is an achievement. I hope Diane Johnson, former Pulitzer and Booker Prize nominee and the author of Lulu in Marrakech feels the same way.

I’d heard so much about Johnson’s latest book, Lulu in Marrakech – a CIA-spy-love story set in Morocco -  thatI had to read it. It got some good reviews but it also caused some fierce reactions from some noteworthy critics (including the New York Times, and the New York Times Book Review).

So What’s All the Fuss About?

Lulu in Marrakech deals with love, sex, infidelity, cultural clashes, American and Muslim stereotypes, spying, kidnapping and torture. You’ve all the ingredients for a backlash right there.

The long and short of the plot revolves around Lulu Sawyer, a young Californian CIA agent who enters the Maghreb realm of international espionage and terrorism kind of by accident.

She’s trying to ignite her love affair with Ian Drumm a wealthy Englishman in his villa in Marrakech. He introduces her to a whole host of interesting characters, add her addiction for googling the Western Sahara and a bit of overheard gossip to the potion, before you can say “Murder in the Medina” Lulu is in the midst of an undercover mission and a complicated love triangle.

I won’t ruin the book’s ending for you, but it’s quite the cataclysmic crescendo as Lulu, already shaken by the emergence of Ian’s lover, gets herself into a rather sticky spot. I felt a little shakey afterwards!

Lulu in Marrakech: A Tragic Love Story or Just a Tragic Novel?

Lulu in Marrakech certainly didn’t leave me with a bee in my bonnet in quite the same way as it enflamed a lot of its critics. Ok, so the plot was implausible, and yes, there were some insensitive remarks that bordered on stereotyping woven through Lulu’s narrative. I also felt her references to the Qur’an were a little misplaced.

Nevertheless, the novel did paint a fascinating picture of Marrakech through the eyes of a love-lorn foreigner and offered an interesting slant on cross-cultural divide.

“Sweetness in the Belly” by Camilla Gibb is a wonderful, literary Ethiopian love story set principally in Harar. It charts three generations of modern Ethiopian history and the meeting point between the country’s two major religions: Islam and Christianity.

The book’s protagonist Lilly is a white Muslim Brit who loses her parents to a cruel, mysterious accident at a Sufi shrine in North Africa. She is adopted by a Muslim family friend who is incredibly well-versed on Islam and Sufism. Lilly finds new meaning to her life through a love of Islam and sets out to deepen this connection.

Life and Love: Two Twisted, Flower-Laden Paths Entwine

Lilly’s arrival and abandonment  in to Harar, Ethiopia as the 60’s draw to a close, tells her own and Ethiopia’s story. She has gone on a pilgrimage in search of The Great Abdal, but, finding herself a “Falasha” (landless one) and largely ostracized, she encounters Dr. Haziz an idealistic young Harari physician. Through his love for her, she gets involved in the noble, political cause of Ethiopia’s oppressed people and  finds herself questioning her beliefs.

For of you who, like me, (and the author) have never been to Harar, Sweetness in the Belly is an indispensable guide to its beauty, vividness and soul. Camilla Gibb is also frank in her condemnation of certain other countries and the roles they take (I won’t ruin it for you by saying much more, but be prepared for the gloves to come off).

Lilly is exiled to England during the revolution in the 1980s, and feels compelled to help displaced Ethiopian exiles reconnect with their relatives. She never, ever gives up hope that Aziz will eventually find her.

Wise Advice Makes for Wise Words

Ethiopian luminaries such as the extraordinary historian Dr Bahru Zewde guided the author through the landscape of Ethiopian history, politics, life and love customs, and as a result “Sweetness in the Belly” emerges brilliant, powerful and accessible.

The novel’s overriding message is one of faith, where past, present, future, life, death, religion and passion become a community. Ongoing belief and the calling of love in the form she may have least expected it force her to close the door on her past, strengthen her bond with her Muslim neighbours and let go in order to receive.

Reading this absorbing and enlightening book, it’s hard to believe that its author Camilla Gibb is actually a Canadian who’s never set foot in Harar. Who knows, maybe her heart and destiny also lie in Ethiopia somewhere.

As you may have noticed, I’m a die-hard romantic and one who’s rather partial to love letters, country escapes, and candle-lit dinners and above all… love poetry.

To my mind, a love poem is  one of the coolest and warmest things to receive (I’ve gotten a couple in my time, but I wouldn’t go as far as to say there were enough to give the mail-man backache.)

I’ve been putting together a collection of love poetry from lesser-known poets around the world. Let’s face it, just about every ancient culture has poured its heart into verse, the Egyptians, Arabs, Greeks, Tartars, to name but a few. This passionate art form reveals a lot about a culture – we say so much by the way we love.

For the Love of An Ancient Language

Today I stopped in Eritrea (virtually speaking) where I read up on the life and works of Reesom Haile, Eritrean Poet Laureate who’s written over 2000 poems in Tigrinya, one of Eritrea’s principal languages, Like Tigre and Amharic, Tigrinya is derived from the Ge’ez, a 5000 year old written language that is Africa’s most ancient and continuous tongue.

Reesom won the 1998 Raimok Prize (Eritrea’s Highest Literary award) and his first collection in English –“We Have our Voice” (Red Sea Press, 2000), was also recorded as a bilingual CD. His second anthology “We invented the Wheel” (Red Sea Press, 2002) was published and acclaimed for modernizing the traditional art of poetry in Tigrinya.

His bilingual performances Tigrinya and English have inspired audiences throughout Africa, Europe and America and he’s received kudos from sources as diverse as the BBC, CNN and The Vatican Radio!

For the Love of a Culture

According to Charles’ Cantalupo’s fascinating biography on Reesom:

“To stroll with Reesom Haile at any hour is to be approached by the young and old and all kinds of people who are delighted to quote his lines back to him.”

Much of Haile’s poetry tackles Eritrea’s century-long struggle for independence, and its fight to retain its culture and ancient traditions in the face of modern manifestation and transformation. His voice is one of resistance and the courage to ask questions, through which, as Cantalupo so eloquently says:  a local language and its poetry become the means of survival.

For the Love of Love

Reesom Haile’s love poetry is as deep and resonant as his stanzas on hope, tradition, resistance and growth. Here is my favourite, I hope you like it too!

Love in the Daytime

My lover

Shines like the sun.

I may be burned

Black as a frying pan,

Sweating buckets

And keeling over

With vertigo,

But why worry?

My lover

Shines like the sun.

She pours over my body

And breathes into my soul.

It feels so good

When she lights

My love on fire

Like dry wood.

If you know of (or are!) a great love poet please let me know so I can add them to the collection. You can also feel free to shower me with adoring love poetry if you feel so inclined.

I’ve read several stories of women who converted to Islam for love – some of whom are firmly in the public eye… Remember Jemima Goldsmith, the famous Jewish daughter of billionaire Sir James Goldsmith, who became Haiqa Khan at the age of 21 when she married famous Pakistani cricket player Imran Khan and became a Muslim?

Of course, this happens the other way around, and I’ve been following one such story in the British press with great interest this past month.

Psychiatrist Adam Osborne (brother of British Shadow Chancellor George Osborne), converted to Islam to marry Bangladeshi-born plastic surgeon Rahala Noor, the woman he’d been dating for 14 years.

The couple had two weddings, a civil ceremony in Scotland in October and a traditional Asian ceremony conducted by an imam in November ’09.

When Two Worlds Collide

Adam and Rahala met and fell in love as undergraduates at St Andrews’ University in Scotland. Adam’s father, Baronet Osborne of Ballintaylor founded the Osborne & Little wallpaper business. The family are both well to do and high profile. Dr Noor’s father, Abdullah, set up a successful restaurant business after moving to Manchester in 1980 and was an advocate of all his children’s education so they could become professionals.

Although Adam’s family thought Rahala was a great influence on him, she didn’t want to upset her devout Muslim family, so the couple initially kept their love a secret.

Conversion as a Condition of Marriage

When Rahala’s father died in 2007, she opened up to her family about Dr Osborne and how them she wanted to marry him. After meeting him on a few occasions, her family began to warm to the idea, and when Adam announced that he was going to convert to Islam, it became much easier for them to accept the relationship.

He spent months learning about Islam at a local mosque before agreeing to live according to its teachings, including praying five times a day and not drinking alcohol. He also adopted the first name Mohammed.

Two Weddings for Two Cultures

The civil ceremony at St Andrews Castle was followed by a black-tie reception with alcohol and dancing. The bride’s youngest sister, Siria, who is studying dentistry, was the only member of Rahala’s family to attend.

All her family, plus many members of Manchester’s Bangladeshi community came to the Islamic ceremony in a banqueting hall in the couple’s home city. Dr Osborne and his father wore traditional sherwanis, while his mother wore a traditional cream lehenga gown.

The bride and groom recited verses from the Koran before being declared husband and wife by the imam, after which there was a hearty knees-up featuring Bollywood-style bands. Dr Osborne’s brother, Shadow Chancellor George Osborne did not attend the Muslim ceremony.

As far as the couple are concerned, their diverse backgrounds have never been a problem for either of them. In fact, they are both very proud of where they come from.