Ok folks: random factoid of the day:

Q: How do Arab friends keep in touch and stay up to date?

A: They turn on, log in and type.

According to an article in The Guardian, there are more Facebook users in the Arab world than newspaper readers.

Out of Print

Dubai-based market research firm Spot On Public Relations reports that there are over 15 million subscribers to the mega-popular social networking site. This compares with just under 14 million newspapers sold in the Arab world in Arabic, English and French.

Facebook is dominating the world's webusers.

The survey of 17 countries revealed the largest number of Facebook members in Egypt (3.5 million), followed by Saudi Arabia.

Net Works

The world, my friends, is changing. Facebook has become a meeting and melting point for 400 million of us around the world…

Although social networks attract every kind of people at every age and stage, many of us young (ish) users find them indispensable for staying in touch with friends and keeping up with the latest news and views.

In the Arab region there are more than 300m young people and Internet use is on the rise at a staggering rate.

Redefining Friendships?

I’m truly fascinated by experts’ suggestions that social networks will eventually replace physical friendships on terra firma. It’s something to bear in mind, for me at least, it’s all about moderation.

I’m down with the privacy argument and try to be selective with what I post and how often I log on from the office or before I’ve had breakfast!!!! Still, as someone that uses FB as a social rather than business tool, it is a wonderful way of staying in touch with friends around the world.

Like anything else in life, I think it’s a matter of choice, discipline and balance. Or then again, perhaps Entertainment Weekly put it in a nutshell by including it in its end-of-the-decade ‘best-of’ list, saying:

“How on earth did we stalk our exes, remember our co-workers’ birthdays, bug our friends, and play a rousing game of Scrabulous before Facebook?”

Kabul Dreams is quite an outfit: Afghanistan’s first rock band, was formed less than a year. It’s already amassed a dedicated following of Afghans and expats as the nations one and only English-language indie band. Earlier this month the group performed in the Afghan capital’s only nightclub. The British embassy bar has also hosted the band.

A trio of friends in their early 20’s, the boys that make up the band all have day jobs. The singer, 20-year-old Suleman Qardash presents the evening news on Afghanistan’s Uzbek-language television station and puts his salary towards building up the band.

Aiming for the Top

There’s a great article about Kabul Dreams in The Guardian, proving that the band are far from faint-hearted.  Suleman’s friend and bass player Siddique Ahmed underscores the band’s objectives:

“We are aiming for big things; a record label, an international tour.” – he says.

“And a Grammy!” adds Qardash.

500 young Afghans rocked up to see Kabul Dreams play a gig at the American University even though “none of them had a clue about rock music”, Ahmed tells The Guardian.

The band performed a mixture of their own songs and indie covers. Their own material is recorded in English, despite the fact Suleman doesn’t speak it fluently: inspired by his idols Oasis, Radiohead and the Beatles, he has made their language his own when it comes to music.

Mixed Ingredients Make for More Interesting Music

Ahmed says English feels right for an ethnically mixed band of friends made up of a Tajik, a Pashtun and an Uzbek.

“If we sing in Dari, why not Pashtu? If we do both why not in Uzbek, where Suleman comes from?” He says.

Kabul is Afghanistan’s most ethnically mixed city, and as The Guardian article points out, such a band could only happen in Kabul; it is no coincidence that the three band members did not grow up under the Taliban, but in the relatively liberal environments of neighboring countries.

Qardash fell in love with British indie bands he found on the Internet while he was in Tashkent. Ahmed, the bass player, grew up in Islamabad and Mujtaba Habibi, the drummer, lived in Mashhad in Iran, returning to Afghanistan in 2002.

What do you think of Kabul Dreams? Give us your thoughts of their music.

The issue of where Islam stands on Muslims and non-Muslim friends is a hot topic for me as someone who loves her faith but doesn’t live in a Muslim country and has friends of many different faiths. I found a great article on the topic at islamonline that helps clarify the issue and dispel some of the media myths about Islam being insular.

It opens by emphasizing that Islam urges all Muslims to deal kindly and justly with all people and to have good relations with all people of all faiths in all contexts. I have always felt that our faith is factor that unites people and naturally paves the way for friendship and community, yet it is neither exclusive nor discriminatory.

Good Muslims, Good Friends

I particularly like the response to this question by Dr. Muzammil Siddiqi, President of the Fiqh Council of North America:

“The Qur’an does not say that non-Muslims cannot be Muslims’ friends, nor does it forbid Muslims to be friendly to non-Muslims. There are many non-Muslims who are good friends of Muslim individuals and the Muslim community. There are also many good Muslims who truly and sincerely observe their faith and are very friendly to many non-Muslims at the same time.”

The wise Dr. goes on to state that Islam teaches us friendship to all people and justice and fairness when dealing with our enemies, as quoted in the Qur’an:

O you who believe! Stand out firmly for Allah as witnesses to fair dealings and let not the hatred of others to you make you swerve to wrong and depart from justice (Al-Ma’dah 5:8).

I really admire the sense of fairness and justice in our faith. The Qur’an also states that if Muslims do wrong to some non-Muslims, it is Muslims’ duty to help the non-Muslims and save them from oppression.

A Role Model for Kindness and Mercy

Dr Siddiqi reminds us that Allah Almighty described Prophet Muhammad as “a mercy” to the worlds, and a sign of Allah’s mercy to all men, be they Muslims or non-Muslims.

This being said, we live in troubled times. This is where the article suggests drawing on inner strength is essential, taking care of our own people and supporting each other.

In short, I agree wholeheartedly with its treatment of this tricky subject.

I am comforted to know that Muslims are allowed to have non-Muslims as friends as long as they keep their own faith and commitment to Islam pure and strong.  Along the same lines, it’s every Muslim’s duty to support other Muslims and those of other faiths, as long as we are not supporting a person who fights our faith.

The Prince in the Press

Unless you’ve been living a long way from the radar, you’ve undoubtedly heard Sheikh Abdullah Bin Hamad Bin Isa Al-Khalifa’s name mentioned a fair bit of late.

The music-loving Prince of Bahrain was first long-time friend and eventually sworn enemy of the late, great Michael Jackson.

In November 2008, after trying to recover £4.7 million costs from Jackson, which the singer claimed was a series of gifts; Prince Abdullah sued his famous friend for what he felt was a “personal betrayal.”

Abdullah claims that despite having shelled out $2.2m for Jackson to record a song that the Bahraini royal had wanted to benefit the victims of Hurricane Katrina, the singer failed to attend the studio for the final recording and the song was never released.

So who is this philanthropist pop-loving Bahraini prince?

Madly in Love with Music

Prince Abdullah has a personal love of music, and has fitted his palace in the Kingdom of Bahrain with a deluxe personal recording studio. His musical icons include Led Zeppelin and Bob Marley, and he’s a cool kinda royal – he collects instruments – owning a vintage Gibson electric guitar, and rides a Harley Davidson.

A Friend in Need…

A long time friend of American pop legend Michael Jackson, Abdullah lent the star $2.2million for legal fees after “those allegations” made against him in 2005. The cash undoubtedly helped Jackson pay for a top-notch defence attorney and once the charges had been dropped, the Prince invited the pop icon, his children and personal staff to stay in Bahrain at the end of June ’05.

Sheikh Abdullah Bin Hamad Bin Isa Al-Khalifa also offered to help revive Jackson’s career and reputation, which had been severely punctured by the allegations made against him. After Hurricane Katrina, the Sheikh proposed that Jackson record a charity single called “I Have This Dream”, which the prince himself had written. Although the star apparently made it to and through the recording session in London, the song was never released.

At the November 2008 hearing, the attorney representing Bahraini prince, told the High Court that the day after Jackson’s criminal trial ended in California, the star did in fact record one of the songs that Abdullah wanted released as a charity single to help victims of the Indian Ocean tsunami.

Everyone’s Talking

I obviously don’t know the Sheikh personally, but he seems the sort who likes to help his friends and to help those in need, through his passion for music. It’s no secret that some fingers have been pointed in his general direction since Michael Jackson’s mysterious and untimely end.

What a tragic end to what was once such a beautiful friendship.

Reflections on Misconceptions about Afghanistan

For the last few years and specifically after the 9/11 tragedy, my thoughts have turned towards Afghanistan, a country which I have never really paid much attention to. I began to hear more in the news and to read more in the newspapers about Osama Bin Laden and the Taliban. I even watched a movie called Osama about women’s issues in Afghanistan. Nevertheless, politics is not really my thing.

So when I went to the library looking for books to satisfy my curiosity, my eyes lead me to more culturally – and socially-oriented books and novels about Afghanistan. One specific novel caught my attention. I had never heard of the title or of the author before. However, I was delighted with the idea that the author, Khaled Houseini, is Afghani, and that the book, The Kite Runner, talks about a special friendship between two young Afghani boys.

Khaled Houseini: From Kabul to Kite Running

Khaled Houseini was born in 1965 in Kabul, where he spent his childhood. At that time, Kabul was a city that attracted and opened itself to the whole world; with movie theaters showing international films, universities, schools and cultural centers offering education for both boys and girls.

Khaled Houseini’s family mingled with poets, writers, diplomats, journalists, doctors, and lawyers: his father was a diplomat working in the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, and his mother taught Persian language and history in an important high school in Kabul.

In September 1980, Houseini’s family moved to and settled in San Jose, California where Khaled continued his studies to become a doctor. He began to write his first magnificent novel, The Kite Runner, in March 2001. In 2003, The Kite Runner was published and became an international bestseller, selling more than 4 million copies in 3 years, published in 40 countries, and translated to many languages. In 2007, the novel was transformed into a movie.

A Story of Hope, Faith and Salvation

The Kite Runner is derived from the core proceedings of Afghan history, the stories of many Afghan families, and the tales of friendship, hope and faith, amid the suffering of the Afghan people whose salvation was to be found in love.

The book tells the story of friendship and betrayal and a sense of guilt and sacrifice between 2 boys, Amir and Hassan, coming from 2 different worlds and who grew up together in the city of Kabul in the ’60s and ’70s.

It is a story of an intimate friendship between Amir with Hassan, a thread that pulls the whole book together. However, the fragility of their friendship, symbolized by the kites the boys fly side by side, was put to test when they started observing and noticing their different and contrasting lifestyles.

Contrast, Conflict and the Final Flight to Safety

Amira’s father was rich and held important status in the society, while Hassan was the son of the family’s custodian. Amir came from the Pashtun, a Sunni tribe, whereas Hassan was from the Hazara, a Shiite tribe of ethnic minority in Afghanistan.

The lives of the boys were transformed and their fates intertwined. The tragedy came when the Soviet Union invaded Afghanistan, and Amir fled with his father and family from the country to start a new life in California. Amir fled from his past as well, yet he was not able to leave the memory of Hassan behind him and it came back to haunt him after several years, when he received news of Hassan’s own son.

The Kite Runner is a story of friendship and betrayal and of the price of loyalty; it’s a story about relationships on different levels: between friends, between father and son, and between man and his home country.

In 1969, Major Wellesley Aaron (grandfather of popular Israeli singer David Broza) and Bruno Hassar, an Egyptian-born Dominican brother with Jewish roots, pooled their wisdom and desire for peace and decided to create an Oasis of Peace on a hermitage Hassar had leased from a Trappist abbey in Latrun. Originally intended by Hussar to be a place where the troubled could go to find solitude and reflection, this tranquil dwelling set on forty hectares of land went on to rewrite history.

Aaron and Hussar saw the potential of the hermitage as place where both Israelis and Palestinians could “expand on the idea of finding peace within as a prelude to bringing peace to the community and the region.”

The Perfect Place for Peace

The Latrun hilltops between Tel Aviv and Jerusalem were no-man’s land between Israeli and Jordanian lines until 1967, when Israel occupied them. Since then, the territory remains under Mateh Yehuda Regional Council jurisdiction.

With love, hope and faith for peace, Aaron and Hussar developed an intentional community at the hermitage, naming it Neve Shalom-Wahat al-Salam, after a passage from the book of Isaiah and meaning Oasis of Peace in Hebrew and Arabic respectively.

An intentional community is a planned residential community designed to have a much higher degree of teamwork than other communities. Members of an intentional community generally hold a common social, political, religious, or spiritual vision.

In 2009, 50 families live at Neve Shalom, and forthcoming expansion aims to house the 300 Jews and Arabs on its waiting list. This binational, bilingual community conducts educational work for peace, equality and understanding that runs on three levels:

• A binational, bilingual (Arabic-Hebrew) children’s educational framework: In 2005, the matriculation exceeded 200 pupils, around 90% of whom came from towns and villages within a 30 kilometre radius of Neve Shalom – Wahat al-Salam. The primary school, the largest unit within the framework was founded in 1984 as Israel’s first binational school, and is today recognized and partially supported by the state.
• The School for Peace is a unique educational institution offering Jewish-Arab encounter programs in the spirit of Neve Shalom – Wahat al-Salam Founded in 1979, the SFP has conducted workshops, seminars and courses 45,000 Israel and Palestinian young people and adults The School for Peace also trains facilitators in conflict-group encounter skills.
• The Pluralistic Spiritual Centre in Memory of Bruno Hussar (known as “Doumia ~ Sakinah”) is a venue and framework for spiritual reflection on issues at the heart of the Middle East conflict and the ongoing desire and search for its resolution. The centre hosts public activities and seminars.

Neve Shalom – Wahat al-Salam also includes a small guesthouse, which offers programmes designed to acquaint local or foreign groups with the village and its cultural context.

Spreading the Word

On June 22, 2006, Pink Floyd’s Roger Waters played a live concert at the village for more than 50,000 fans.

Inspired by the success of Neve Shalom – Wahat al-Salam in 2007, two Israeli educators, one Arab and one Jewish set up the first of four Hand in Hand schools where Jewish and Palestinian citizens of Israel can study together in peace.

Today over 800 students study at the four Hand in Hand schools in Jerusalem, the Galilee Region, Wadi Ara, and Beer Sheva.

“Do not get equal with one who has done you wrong, or keep hard feelings against the children of your people, but have love for your neighbour as for yourself.” - Leviticus, 19:18

“Believers are brothers – spread reconciliation among your brothers.” – The Koran

There is no “one” Arab culture or society: the Arab world stretches from Morocco across Northern Africa to the Persian Gulf, and includes 22 countries and several world religions (with Islam being the most prolific). In general, the term “Arab” is used to describe any one who speaks the Arabic language as their mother tongue.

There are several customs that all Arabs share, based on their strong and deeply rooted values of family, friendship and honour. Understanding and respecting these can open the doors wide to long and fruitful friendships. If you’re new to Arab culture and would like to understand more of what makes this fascinating culture tick, here are a few pointers to help you to acclimatize and feel more readily accepted by this warm and infinitely diverse people:

Family comes first

Family means everything to Arabs; it is the nucleus of honour, loyalty, and reputation.

Males are always the head of the Arab family and the father is strongly respected.

Age and wisdom are deeply honored in the Arab culture and advice is often sought from elder family members.

Meeting and greeting

In Arabic culture, close friends or colleagues hug and kiss both cheeks to say hello.

When conducting business or meeting Arab acquaintances, shake the hand of all males present first with your right hand and grasp their elbow with the left (take care not to grip too firmly.)

Before even attempting to engage in business with an Arab, make sure you leave plenty of time for refreshment. Respect and trust come first and Arabs believe in breaking the ice before they get down to the nitty-gritty!

If you’re served a drink, don’t forget to accept with the right hand only – the same goes for drinking, offering and passing food or drinks. Right hand rules here!

Placing a hand on your heart and bowing slightly is a sign of respect when greeting an Arab friend, acquaintance or colleague.

In Arabic culture, men stand when women enter a room.

Getting to know each other

Arabs are warm and gregarious and as such, most don’t believe in the Western concept of “personal space.” It is considered offensive to step or lean away from an Arab friend or business acquaintance.

An exception to this rule is women: It is not acceptable to stand overtly close to an Arab woman, stare at her, or touch her. Engaging a woman in conversation unless you have been formally introduced is another no-no.

Arab friends of the same sex often hold hands and hug each other. As Arab society permits and encourages affection between male friends, it’s quite common to see Arab men walking hand in hand.

A full body embrace, accompanied with hugging, should not be initiated until you are sure that an Arab is a close friend. If your Arab friend initiates it, participate and smile: you can now consider yourself honored or accepted!

Honour and shame

Honour is exremely important in Arab culture and shame is about the worse thing that can happen, so it’s important to respect your Arab friends and colleagues.

Arabs are straight speaking and decisive people – saying  “I don’t know” to an Arab is generally considered impolite.

Criticism can sometimes be taken as an insult. It’s a good idea to be as thoughtful as possible and take care not to insult your Arab friends or business associates, even when joking.

Hygiene

Personal hygiene is extremely important to Arabs for spiritual and practical reasons.

Arab Muslims always wash their hands, and forearms before daily prayers or fasting.

Meals are often eaten by hand in Arab homes, so it is typical to wash your hands before and after eating, even if you’re just visiting!

Time

The Arabic approach to time is way more relaxed than in Western cultures, so don’t be offended if your Arabic friend or colleague arrives late to a meeting!

It’s not a good idea to look at a watch or clock during a meeting. Doing this suggests to your host or guest that you consider them unworthy of your time.

“The image of friendship is truth.” – Arabic Proverb

Quick geography lesson: The Bengal Region and Culture is divided between the sovereign state of the People’s Republic of Bangladesh and West Bengal in India. You shouldn’t find it hard to make friends in Bengal, given that the region is one of the most densely populated regions on earth, with a population density exceeding 900/km²!

The majority of Bengal is inhabited by Bengali people who speak the Bengali language (a.k.a Bangla), although English is often used for official work. 66% of the total Bengali population is Muslim, and 33% is Hindu. In Bangladesh 89.7% of the population is Muslim.

The Game of Life

Sport is a big deal in these parts, so if you like to roll up your sleeves and grab a ball, or simply relax and enjoy a nice cold drink while you watch other people run around and get sweaty (while offering them your advice), be sure to catch one of the (many) cricket or soccer matches. Kolkata is one of the major centres for football in India. Local games, which are played just about everywhere, include Kho Kho and Kabaddi (Bangladesh’s national sport.)

Passion for Fashion

If you want to dress to impress or simply to fit in here’s the low-down: Bengali women commonly wear the saree and the salwar kameez, which vary in colour and style according to local cultural customs. In the major towns and cities, many men and women dress Western, although it seems to be more widely acceptable among men. You’ll also see guys in traditional costumes such as the panjabi with dhuti or pyjama, and even skirts: The lungi, a kind of long skirt, is widely worn by Bangladeshi men.

Food Glorious Food

Centuries of contact between Muslims and Hindus in Bengal have let to fusions in many cultural aspects, especially when it comes to cuisine. Beef has been phased into Muslim cuisine from the region but you obviously won’t see any of that at a Hindu table.

If you’re fortunate to be invited to eat in a Bengali friend’s home, be sure to clean under your fingernails with the scrubby-brush, as more than likely, you’ll find yourself sitting on the floor on an individual piece of carpet, called an asan, would be spread for each person to sit on – surrounded by small metal dishes full of sumptuous and aromatic dishes (including rice) that you’ll be eating with your fingers! (apparently there are three ways of eating rice in Bengal: “finger picking”, “finger shovelling” and “ball-rolling”). And here’s another “hands-on” fact about Bengal customs: many Bengalis use their right hand when they eat or hand things to other people as they consider their left hand unclean.

Where to Meet Bengali Friends Online

When it comes to finding friends virtually, My language exchange unites Bengali-speaking pen pals and plenty of Bengalis who want to practice their English or meet friends abroad sign up. For those who live abroad banglacommunity.com is a large network of Bengalis spanning the four corners of the globe. Bengali chat and instant messaging can be found at banglalive.com If it’s friendship and maybe a little more you’re looking for, kamaconnection can apparently open the cyber-gates to Bengali love.

“tumi moi friend asey” = “you are my friend” in Bengali. (Don’t ask me how to pronounce it though!)

Did You Know….?

Kazi Nazrul Islam, the National poet of Bangladesh was a revolutionary Bengali poet who led the Bengal Renaissance in Muslim majority areas of Bengal.