What Makes a Somali Marriage Different?

The fascinating thing about weddings in the broad and diverse range of Muslim countries is that they often fuse indigenous customs with Islamic traditions, and the results are intriguing.

Somali marriage law is a fine example: we’re talking Muslim marriage laws with a unique twist. As I often reiterate in my blogs, I’m a discoverer, a world cyber-traveller and explorer, and I love rummaging around for info on places I may never actually visit in person.

The blog that follows is in no way a reflection of my own, nor of LoveHabibi’s opinions or judgements on Somali culture – it’s just food for thought, digging for cultural truffles on how Muslims in other countries do things – through the internet.

Marriage: The First Think You Think Of?

A Somali man may have four wives, whatever pleasure or challenges that may bring.

Engagement almost always comes down to the parents, and two sets of Somali parents can actually “engage” their children before they’re even born. Some could consider that presumptuous, others might find it a welcome relief to know it’s all sorted out from the moment they enter the world.

However long the engagement – it starts with a small present from the man (or his parents.)This can consist of a horse or a personal belonging from the groom-to-be or his family, and once accepted by the bride makes the marriage definitive and the engagement binding for eternity.

The Bride Price – (Varad)

At some point before a Somali marriage, property (generally in the form of livestock) is paid by the groom-to-be’s family to the bride. The value differs depending on tribe, and if anything happens to the bride-to be, the varad must be returned.

If something happens to the groom, his next of kin gets the option of marrying the girl for a small additional payment if she agrees. If she doesn’t agree, she finds a replacement bride to stand in her place or the varad is again refunded to the groom’s family.

If everything is arranged satisfactorily and the marriage goes ahead, a substantial proportion of the varad, known as dibad is returned to the man by his wife’s family.

The Big Day and The Big Promise

Somali marriages are usually led by a Kathi or Sheikh. During the ceremony, the amount of dowry (mehr) that the husband must pay to the wife is registered. The mehr can really consist of just about anything, but is generally livestock and doesn’t have to be paid at the time.

Still, it’s vitally important for the women that it’s clearly defined at the time of marriage.

When All is Said and Done…

If a Somali couple divorce, and  the wife hasn’t yet paid the mehr agreed on at the marriage ceremony, her husband must square up with her first. Should he die she has first claim on his estate for her settlement, which is quite apart from any subsequent share of the estate she is entitled to as deceased’s wife.

However, if she doesn’t want to marry her deceased husband’s next of kin or a man of his tribe chosen by his people, she forfeits all rights to both her mehr and share of the estate.

If there’s anything you’d like to share or comment regarding Somali marriage customs, please let us know.