Two thirds of Bengalis are Muslims, and a further third are Hindus, with the majority religion being one or the other, depending where in the region you are.
One area in which the two religions overlap is in marriage. Almost all Bengali marriages are arranged, be they Muslim or Hindu and family plays a huge role in both cultures, especially when it comes to matchmaking.
This golden rule aside, marriage rules and norms between the two cultures are markedly different. Here are a few examples of the variations in Bengali Muslim and Bengali Hindu marriage laws and customs…
Caste and Criteria
Caste is an important consideration for Bengali Hindus wishing to get hitched and marriage typically occurs among Hindus of the same caste. Members of closely ranked castes can marry if the woman is marrying “up” the caste system, but marrying “down” the caste system is strongly discouraged for Bengali Hindu women.
Islam, on the other hand, doesn’t place caste-related restrictions on young couples wishing to marry, but interestingly, Bengali Muslim society seems to echo the caste system to a degree in this respect. Social rank is an important criteria when it comes to selecting a suitor, and the groom-to-be’s profession and employment status are of utmost importance, often determining whether he is suitable husband material or not.
Keeping it in the Family
Marrying a first cousin is forbidden among Bengali Hindus, but Islam doesn’t raise the red card on it, and its common practice among Bengali Muslims.
Polygamy is extremely rare among Bengal’s Hindu community, and permitted for Bengali Muslims under Islamic law, although recent studies undertaken in the region, suggest polygamy rates among Bengali Muslims isn’t high.
At the End of the Day
High caste Bengali Hindus are strongly dissuaded from divorce. Islam discourages divorce but does allow it, and the divorce rate among Bengali Muslims is naturally, much higher than among the region’s Hindu community.
For the past century, legislation has repeatedly overturned ancient rules that forbid Bengali Hindu widows from remarrying. Nevertheless, it still carries a huge stigma. Islam doesn’t frown upon remarriage for either partner following spousal death, although it’s not common for elderly Muslim widows to remarry.
You can find more info on Bengali Hindu and Muslim marriages and family customs here
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
Interesting what you say here. When you say ‘Bengalis’ – do you mean in Bangladesh? Because actually then the figures [reported anyway] are more like 85- 88% are Muslims..of course it is a good question whether there are more Hindus in the population who are uncounted.
I don’t know many Muslims for whom marriage systems operate outside a ‘cultural’ class context of some kind or other – whether rigidly codified or not. Though Islam is in theory meant to be class-less at the end of the day who is implementing the religion? ordinary people and they are hardly changing overnight – are they – their ancient ingrained cultural practices. Muslims in the Indian Subcontinent are a good example here – we share our culture with Hindus and though we may claim we have different religious systems, not surprisingly we share similar cultural beliefs, like karma for example, contained within our sanskritic language. Anyone who knows any Arab muslims say in the Gulf States, (of course stuff varies across these countries a lot anyway) and indian sub-continental islam – knows what i mean.
P.S. Re the lack of polygamous marriages amongst Bengalis – a little correction. This is very much class/status related. It is very rare among the so-called upper classes because it is considered a ‘low-class’ thing to do, it is the poorer sections of the populations that this is seen more frequently. Young men marry a girl, can’t support her, moves along, marries someone somewhere else. It fits the itinerant lifestyle and ensures the guy doesn’t have to worry about his old wife when he marries the new. In more established educated families, this is highly discouraged. I always think because the powerful Bengali matriarchs, will not tolerate their husbands doing this.
Perhaps something Arab women might want to think about!
Hey Sonia, thanks very much for this fascinating and obviously well informed comment! I was talking about Bengal as a region rather than Bangladesh alone. We source most of blogs from articles and native testimonies from our friends who live in the countries we write about. We always try to cross a spectrum of views and the more opinions and additions we get, like yours, the more balanced and varied our writing becomes. I have heard a range of theories and “arguments” on the low number of polygamous Bengali marriages – but it’s interesting what you say about the matriachs – as this is something new. Do you think this is another cross over with Hinduism and the Goddesses? I’d love to hear your thoughts… Warmth. Anisa
I read your article… Great Work keep it up!!
If there is any help you want about Bengali Matrimonial then I would recommend people to visit http://www.abppatropatri.com once, which has a good bengali Bride’s and Groom’s profile database.
Hope this info will help others too…
Thanks.