Don’t you just love, love stories with happy endings? There’s a fabulous Algerian love story on the wonderful Wisconsin University Radio’s Inside Islam programme – “Love and Dating in the Muslim World: True Stories of Finding Love”. Just scroll down the page and click on Faiysel and Laila.
Faiysel and Laila grew up in the same town in Algeria – she went to an all girls’ high school, he went to an all boys’ school. On the way home from school their paths would cross. They saw each other 4 times a day: en route to school, on the way home for lunch, on the way back to school and going home from school. Still, they never spoke.
Laila says she noticed Faiysel and his friend, because of his “shenanigans” he was always laughing and joking.
“She was four years younger than me so I didn’t even look at her.” He says.
Boy Meets Girl; Girl Meets Boy (In Cafeteria.)
Faiysel and Laila met again while studying at the same Algerian university. She had just started her first year and he was about to graduate. Laila explains that dating in Algeria at that time was a no-no. They met in the canteen and this time he noticed her laughing, so he went to say hi.
A mutual friend revealed to Faiysel that he and Laila were actually born on the same day and that was all the more reason for Faiysel to talk to her. Slowly a friendship began to blossom. One semester’s end the pair took the same bus back to their hometown but quickly went their separate ways, so that Laila’s father who always met her from the bus, wouldn’t see them.
From then on the pair communicated in secret, hiding their growing love – Faiysel moved to Madison, Wisconsin and would write to Laila via a friend who would deliver his letters to her in the university in Algeria.
“The one condition my father placed on the girls was if I ever catch you with a boy, no more school!” She says
Dialling Home For Love
After a year, Faiysel called his father from the States if he could ask for Laila’s hand in marriage. Her mother knew someone in his family, and the fathers knew of each other, which is crucial for a marriage proposal in Algerian society.
So Laila’s father approached her and told her some guy in the US wanted to marry her. She had to pretend she was suprised.
Faiysel returned to Algeria and asked the women he’d secretly loved for over a year to marry him, through the correct family channels. He said it was particularly amusing when Laila’s father began describing his daughter’s qualities!
The engagement party was traditional, and included the dowry, a feast and lots of gifts (and a sheep for the wedding day!!!) Neither part wanted money, so they set a wedding donation from his family of $5 and had a simple wedding as they knew they were leaving the country, which they did, three days after their marriage.
Faiysel said he felt terrible starting his marriage with a game, with a lie to his father in law but that is was for a good cause.
Happily Ever After – Well Not Quite…
As Faiysel had a university scholarship, he had to do his military service by law. The pair planned to fly first to France then to Venice, before heading on to Madison, and they had to pretend to airport officials that they were simply going on holiday.
Eventually, they arrived in the States. When Faiysel failed to show up for his military service in Algeria, the military police visited his father every six months. Now he feels at home in the U.S, The couple lived in America for 11 years, before an amnesty in Algeria meant that those over 30 didn’t have to do military service and the couple went home.
“It was tough” – they both say in unison. Laila visited her family in Algeria, and Faiysel’s father visited the couple in Madison.
“I only wish we’d dated” said Laila, neither of them ever went out with other people before they met and they both confessed that this was tricky in the early days of their marriage.
“It was a lot of work and a lot of give and take.” Faiysel affirms. “It was very difficult but when you see the fruit you have today, you forget your past. Sometimes a lot of freedom doesn’t help. What I’m saying is that with the little we had…. “
“Considering the bumpy ride, we’ve really had a great life.” Laila concludes.
The couple have been now married for 28 years and have a 23-year-old son.
