When someone first suggested a “Muslim mixer” to me, I gotta say I scratched my head for a moment. Muslim mixer? Are we talking cocktail ingredients, stirring devices, blenders…? Well, in a manner of speaking – yes!
Muslim mixers are dating events set up in the USA (and perhaps other countries too), where unmarried Muslim ladies and gents can go and mingle with other singles.
Too Good to Be True?
Given the fact that dating, courtship and flirtation are relatively new and somewhat delicate concepts in the Muslim world, one thing is evident: the aim of the game for most attendees is marriage, and not a fling.
There aren’t that many places (apart from here 
) that single Muslims can search for their life partners with peace of mind. Options include religious forums, which are known for their marriage potential and Muslim dating Internet sites.
What mixers offer is instant face-to-face interaction with help and advice on tap. The mixer offered at Washington D.C.’s ADAMS Center Muslim society aptly labels itself ” a companionship event.”
Marriage on the Menu, not Dating.
There’s an interesting programme on NPR on the subject of Muslim mixers and dating principles for young Muslims. It includes interviews with young men and women who attend the D.C event.
Saliha, a 25-year old nursing student affirms that she is at the mixer to meet her future husband.
“I’m definitely not interested in dating. That’s not the reason I’m doing this. The purpose is for marriage…” She says
“…I just want to meet other people here and get more into the marriage scene. Truthfully, I never talked to guys that much growing up, so I’m trying to increase my confidence.”
Tarek, a 34 year old doctor who is at the same event was born and raised in the U.S., and can’t imagine marrying anyone who wasn’t.
He says it’s important to find “someone who understands the [music] that you do, someone who can get the same kind of inside jokes.”
Restricted Access, Guidance at Hand
One aspect of these events that is seen as a plus is that no parents are allowed, which can help calm the nerves and ease the pressure.
At the ADAMS Center Mixer, imam Mohamed Magid, advises participants about culture, education and religion, and how expectations might clash with reality.
Many of these singles live at home and have been sheltered from confronting issues such as dating and sex. The imam asks them to consider whether they would accept someone from a different cultural background or that has less education than themselves.
Thankfully, when it comes to witnessing families argue over matchmaking, this imam has been there, done that and bought the T-shirt. He thinks young Muslims should talk to their families before they get married but that excessive interference from parents is a bad idea and often leads to divorce, especially when it comes to marriage arranged with a suitor from their parents’ country of origin.
“They go and get this young lady, who is very much closer to the culture of the parents of the spouse than the spouse themselves,” he says.
Wise words!
