The Boundaries of Tradition and the Frontiers of Liberalism
From what I’ve been reading, the majority of Pakistan’s Muslims view open mingling with the opposite sex/casual courtship/going out with someone (call it what you will…) as a step too far away from their customs and traditions.
But times they are a changing, and reading Usman’s Pakistan Paindaman blog on dating it seems that while the western parts of Pakistan are still deeply traditional and favour arranged marriage, Lahore and Karachi, where the technology and international media have settled in to roost are much more “liberal” when it comes to dating. Bollywood from neighbouring India has also had an influence on Karachi when it comes to making a song and dance out of blossoming love.
What struck me as really interesting is that the blogger, Usman, comments about how new-found dating liberalism also has limits in Pakistan: A man, he said can befriend a “liberal” woman, but he probably wouldn’t consider her marriage material.
Dating: A Class Affair?
Apparently, class also has some bearing on attitudes towards dating. Dating and premarital relations seem more prolific among the upper and lower classes, while the middle class is well… stuck in the middle.
The edges blur when it comes to higher education, where dating and courtship is modest but plentiful. Usman mentions medical schools, where young Pakistani students pair up and sometimes this lasts and leads to the all-important post-graduating chai with the parents and a marriage proposal.
Full Promises
I particularly like this blogger’s parting thoughts, in which he suggests that Islam, like Pakistan is open to many different interpretations and that what really counts is respect, and looking towards marriage and a happily ever after.
If you like a girl, in his country and anywhere else for that matter – however you go about it romantically, take your parents to meet hers, he concludes.
I found another really interesting Valentine’s Day blog by Razarumi, who talks about a comment that was left on a Pakistani dating blog. I’ll blow you all a kiss and leave you with the essence of it as food for thought…
“A question about love…. Why is there such eagerness on the world’s part to term things Islamic or unIslamic all the time? Since we have to constantly do this, we end up bracketing things either here or there and eventually start believing them to be one or the other.”
