Parallel Lives
The UAE population has grown x 8 since 1975 mainly thanks to a massive influx of workers from other countries. Within what is the minority community of UAE nationals, the general rule is that a man doesn’t speak to a woman in public unless he is married to her or related to her. As has been the way for a while, youngsters “meet” for the first time when a young man’s parents approach a young woman’s parents and propose marriage. It’s common for only married or engaged UAE couples to be seen out together in public.
Love letters sometimes change hands in secret, and the mobile phone revolution has made it more feasible than ever to conduct a discrete friendship or flirtation with a member of the opposite sex. This is where Bluetooth comes in especially handy – the nifty application means amorous UAE citizens contact each other within a 10-metre radius using their phones but without ever knowing the other’s phone number. So where do young UAE citizens go from there?
Bluetooth King
In a BBC News Article, a young 20 year old UAE man called Ahmed Bin Desmal admits to being declared the “Bluetooth king”. The accolade comes from Ahmed’s friends, who pride him on proficient use of the technology to send notes to girls he likes the look of in otherwise “forbidden territory” – i.e. public places such as malls, cinemas and cafes – even in traffic jams!
“In our country it’s very rude to go up and talk to them,” he says. “I sent some notes, they liked them – they took my number and they called me. I say nice things – I’m into poems.”
It was really interesting reading the article and the commentary by young male citizens who take the technology a step further than romantic messaging and use it to arrange secret liaisons. I was particularly drawn to the declaration by one young man (just one, mind you!) that while he meets a lot of girls through Bluetooth messaging he wouldn’t marry any of the girls he professes to “play around with”.
A Happy Medium: What the Boys Say
So is there a bridge between traditional values and trivial technological entanglement?
Happily, it seems so. According to the BBC Article, young students at Dubai Men’s College are a fine example of this: They want to wait until they have their careers established before marrying, but at the same time, they want to wait to choose the right one, and to be part of that decision.
The ideal situation for many of these young men is to propose a young woman they like and feel would be a suitable match to their parents and hope to gain their approval.
What the Girls Say
Seems that UAE girls have the hardest time when it comes to meeting men in public, although of course, it does happen. The trouble is the question of honour, as such liaisons, if discovered can be the kiss of death for a young man or woman’s reputations.
So things go back to the way they were, for better or for worse: while many young women want a love marriage, family marriage seems to be the safer bet.
Woman to women: here’s hoping that if they so desire, girls also get the chance to use ever increasing modern technologies and career opportunities in the UAE to choose a partner for themselves that they and their families love and accept.
