The Invincible Cupid
My quest to scratch below the surface of Afghanistan came after reading an extraordinary book (in Spanish) called A Burka For Love. (Apparently it’s now been made into a Spanish film.) Few books have made me cry the way this one did. It is the true story of a Spanish woman who married an Afghan man, accompanied him to visit his father and got stuck in the country for several years, giving birth to 3 children there and having to wear a Burka and accustom herself to a lifestyle she never could have imagined. The horrors Maria, the protagonist witnesses are tremendous, and yet, throughout the novel, she stands by her husband, Nasrad who is a good, loving man who always wants the best for his wife and who is prepared to let her go for her own wellbeing and that of their 3 children. Their love is constantly tried and tested, by everyone from the Taliban to the Embassies to Nasrad’s own mother but it shines through and eventually unites them against all odds.
I’m not trying to dilute the horrors we’ve all read about but I knew there must be more stories like this. Stories where love conquers, survives and triumphs. I found an interesting article in the Global Post that describes 4 Afghan love stories. Among them, surprisingly, is a curious tale of two childhood sweethearts: Rahman and Belquis.
The Game of Love
First cousins Rahman and Belquis grew up as playmates, and when adolescence dawned, they realised their feelings for each other had blossomed and now ran deep. First cousins often marry in Afghanistan: it’s thought to be a safe bet, and even a more economical option when you factor in the reduced bride price.
Here’s the curious twist. Rahman could not openly ask to marry Belquis, as it would have been considered too blunt. So he just started hinting he was ready for a wife. Lo and behold, his mother suggested Belquis, but Rahman pretended not to be sure… eventually agreeing and the couple were engaged.
The Test of Time
Sound like a done deal? Not really: as fiancés they were not allowed to make any contact for the duration of their 3-year engagement. The only contact was via Rahman’s mother who would return from a visit to Belquis’ family with a photo. The couple never exchanged a phone call, glance or even a note.
They “met” again face to face for the first time on their wedding night when the mullah came to recite nikaa. Their patience paid off: today Rahman and Belquis are happily married with a young son.
I live in a very modern, very hectic city of great liberties and freedoms, where couples embrace on the streets and relationships often come and go: hearts swell, are broken, mended and recycled every day. There are challenges to be met in every society, but stories like this one prove to an ol’ romantic like me that where there is true love, there is always a way.
