As you’ve probably noticed from my posts, I’m a liberal sort of girl. My faith is deep but I like to embrace the views and perspectives from across the board and globe of Islam, to accept and to question, to believe and to reason and to accept and to grow.
One of my favourite pastimes is reading other Muslims’ blogs, especially on themes relating to matters of the heart and I have to confess, I’ve been captivated of late by halfmydeen, a forum about Islam and marriage, which has a compassionate and broad range of articles on the subject of Muslim marriage, “dating” and singledom.
We Stress that Muslim Marriage Shouldn’t Be Stressful!
Islamic marriage in modern times is summed up beautifully in Ibrahim Abu Khalid’s blog for Halfmydeen, where he speaks of the stigmas associated with arranged marriage, the pressures of finding a soul mate and emphasizes that Islam is the solution, not the problem. In his view (hear, hear), local traditions and customs can become overwhelming and overshadow marriage, “converting” it into a stressful experience, rather than the sublime union that Islam intends.
In my humble view, Muslim dating is only a controversial term when compared with other notions of courtship from beyond the faith. Within Islam, young couples do meet, but the cards are on the table from the get-go: Mission: marriage. Courtship can be arranged and monitored to varying degrees depending on the practices of the family and community involved. It’s a simple logic, but lets face it, it’s worked for centuries.
The Choice is Ours
These days most of us have broadband, our cell phones, and our typing fingers flexed and firm. Digital dating is everywhere we look, the opportunities to meet Mr or Ms Right are so numerous it’s like living in a city where the agenda is so full, you miss something incredible on your doorstep every five minutes. It’s also hard to know what’s right and what’s wrong, swimming through the sea of Muslim dating sites. I always believe it’s a personal choice and we carry our answers within us (even if the answers turn out to be more questions.) It’s always good to seek guidance, if you ask me, and to enjoy being a young Muslim!
The ABCs of Muslim Marriage
Rummaging around halfmydeen, I found an article on the ABCs of Muslim Marriage. I decided to spell my name out to see what I get:
A~ALLAH: Remember Him in this (and any) process and He will remember you. And, if He brings you to it, He will get you through it.
N~NIKKAH: Have it done Islamically and legally in the place you live. It’s just the right thing to do.
I~ IQRA: READ about marriage. Read what the Quran says about it and read about relationships in other texts. And also ISTIKHARA (search the net for it if you are not sure what it is or how to do it) if you need some more help. If you have a gut feeling, go with it. It’s from Allah.
S~STANDARDS: What you want, what you are willing to compromise, what is not important, etc. YOU ARE ALLOWED TO HAVE THEM. Don’t lower them too much.
A~ALLAH (see above)
I feel very blessed that my name starts and ends with Allah (PBUH).
Got a new idea for an Islamic Marriage Alphabet? Please let us know.
I’d like to say a big thanks to Admin at Halfmydeen for bringing this interesting info to the limelight, and keeping me glued to my screen for hours -Please keep posting!
