The So-Called Spinster Phenomenon
I don’t know a great deal about Saudi Arabia, but luckily I found a really enlightening blog by Laura of Arabia on Saudi dating and singles, which contains some quite surprising stats: According to one Saudi sociologist, there are around 3 million single women in the Kingdom, and about 1.5 million of them are aged 30 or above. This so-called “spinster phenomenon” is raising concern…
It’s tough to be a single woman over 30 in a country where a lady’s life is validated by getting married and having children, and as Laura’s blog points out, this is reflected in the press: Sheik Ibrahim al-Khodeiri, a Supreme Court judge, told the Al Riyadh newspaper, that a woman has a “shelf life” that lasts only as long as she can have children.
So Why Aren’t Saudis Rushing to Get Married Anymore?
Some say Saudi men are too influenced by the notion of “the ideal woman” that filters through from the celebrities they see on satellite TV (which has been legal in the kingdom for a decade.) Others criticize women’s desire for a university education and a few years in a job or career before they get married.
Many of us think of Saudi Arabia as a wealthy oil nation, but in fact, population growth and high unemployment means that many Saudi men can’t afford to get married in the style their parents did with all the costs this involves. Saudi grooms-to-be face the prospect of a middle-class dowry that oscillates between R50 000 to R100 000 and a wedding party that will probably cost thousands more.
According to sociologist Wafaa Al-Saadi, in an article with Arab News, parents of potential Saudi brides set impossibly high standards for the young men hoping to marry their daughters. Girls’ parents ask for large dowries, high salaries and fancy houses to guarantee comfortable lives for their daughters. In some regions, tribes and families are trying to resolve this by legally lowering the dowry rates.
Times of Change = Change of Rules?
Dating is forbidden in Saudi Arabia but with over half of the population under 25 years old, and the arrival of technology and new forms of communication, keeping the sexes apart isn’t easy. It would seem that attitudes are softening slightly on some fronts.
A study conducted in 2005 by the Saudi Ministry of Planning stated that divorce has risen by 20% over previous years and that 65% of arranged marriages end in divorce. The study states there are roughly 33 divorces a day in the Kingdom: 13,000 of the 70,000 marriages per year end in divorce.
In reaction to this, Saudi law now deems forced marriage illegal. Grand Mufti Sheikh Abdul Aziz al-Sheikh clearly states that forced marriage is against Islamic law and those responsible for it should be jailed. He said fathers who coerce daughters into in marriage should be jailed and not released “until they change their minds”.