Lebanon has lived, seen, embraced and survived…and today Western influence and occupation has added unique blends of tones and colors to make it an ancient, modern and vivid land. Today, Islam is among many religions that can call Lebanon home.
The relationship between the opposite sexes in Lebanon has been radically influenced by the West. Young Lebanese are drifting gradually towards western customs and European lifestyles when it comes to social encounters. “Musahaba” or dating is growing in popularity and has become quite a trend.
Love: Connecting People
Thanks to the Internet and communications boom, dating has become the “in thing” among university students, and has even trickled into high school playgrounds. Many teenage and twenty-something Lebanese girls have cell-phones, these days more than ever, following the 2005 assassination of Lebanese Prime Minister, Rafiq Al Hariri.
We all know that love takes on many shapes and passes through different stages: it can start with a smile then a meeting and might even be crowned with a marriage. If not, then it gets archived along the other past and passing relationships and hopefully will serve as a learning experience for future ones (let’s be philosophical about this.) Still, the importance of this experience does not always lie in the fleeting moment, but what it brings: the hope that is planted in us and the trace it leaves in our beings.
Open Courtship: Foreign Fashion or Flagrant Disrespect?
Lebanon’s dating fashion has been imported from abroad, and for Lebanese youth it’s still a strange and exotic foreign animal in many ways. Some venture into it heart, head or feet first, while others refer to it as friendship, or as a period similar to engagement. Let’s not forget either, that there are still Lebanese who believe Western-style courtship to be a violation of religion and traditional beliefs.
What do young Lebanese guys and girls say about dating and its importance in their lives?
Has the emerging Westernization of dating in Lebanon brought sun or shadows to the country’s young people? Well… a bit of both! Many agree that dating helps the couple get to know each other better in terms of ethics, ideaology and temperament, and that a love relationship can have many lifetimes, but what matters to many is honesty, maturity, and readiness to take serious decisions. Even if the affair does not lead to marriage, plenty of young Lebanese consider it an experience in learning from mistakes which hopefully, can be avoided in the future.
Some young Lebanese daters go out together in public for they think nothing is wrong with such a relationship and in some cases their parents also acknowledge that it is an important step to profoundly know the potential future partner. They believe that this way the likelihood of divorce and other serious misunderstandings will be greatly reduced.
Just Between You and Me…
Other young Lebanese lovebirds prefer to keep their affairs private even if the couple is serious about each other and wish to get married later on. In these cases, their discretion often echoes their parents’ reluctance to accept the idea of dating because of society and religion. To some young Lebanese and their families, the minute they hear the word “dating” the word that directly follows is “sex” and they find this inappropriate.
The notion of dating as a relationship between two people on a more profound level is shared by many and is a question of personal interpretation. Nevertheless, it is clear that dating, many times, calls for some sacrifice and mutual respect thanks to the shared feelings of loyalty, faithfulness and most of all, love. In every courtship, whether it lasts days, weeks, months or years, those who have encountered them benefit from the experience and knowledge they can carry with them to another. In this respect, many young Lebanese, like many young people everywhere are explorers, discoverers and yes… romantics!
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