Located at the crossroads of Western Asia and Eastern Europe, Azerbaijan is a secular state that grants every inhabitant the right to choose any faith, adopt or reject any religion and openly express his or her views on any religion. Approximately 95% of Azerbaijanis are Muslim, of whom 85% are Shia and 15% Sunni.
Azerbaijani girls don’t generally “date” unless their family elders approve it, which is extremely rare before marriage. Even as traditions change and young people become more independent, girls still feel it is very important to talk to their parents, share their feelings and get their opinions or advice.
Azerbaijanis Say it Like it Is
Verbal communication is very important in Azerbaijani society, where advice taking and advice giving play a prominent role. When Azerbaijani girls undertake something serious, they typically seek the advice of friends or relatives who they believe have had relevant experiences.
On the whole, Azerbaijanis feel quite comfortable offering unsolicited advice on personal matters. For example, if there is a problem between a husband and wife, and a close friend feels able to solve the problem and prevent further difficulties, the friend will consider it his or duty to get involved. Not getting involved would be take to signify that a friend was unwilling to help.
Psst! A Word in Your Ear?
A wise word in the ear from the elderly or aggsaqal sozu (literally, “word of the white-bearded one”) is given particular value, especially when it comes to the life-changing decision of whom to marry. Girls and their will often consult elderly family members, such as grandparents, aunts and uncles for advice on a prospective partner.
Once the elders of the family and/ or community have approved a girl’s suitor, meetings between the intended couple are permitted along with certain basic protocol. When such dating sessions are allowed, it is usually understood that the young couple will marry.
A Portal to the Outside World
Azerbaijani society doesn’t permit young girls to date freely or chat to men on phones. Nowadays the Internet is opening a world of new opportunities to Azerbaijani girls as they can interact online with without having to leave the sanctity or safety of their own rooms and houses. This provides young women with a whole new perspective on life outside their community and enables them to make contact with different people from different cultures through email, private chat rooms, instant messaging, video and mms.
As technology gallops forward in leaps and bounds, every day opens new ways of exploring and communicating discretely.
“A dress made with advice will never be too tight.” – Azerbaijani proverb
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